Yes I am feeling overly enthusiastic today and decided to do two posts in one. Mainly because I'm slightly bored at work and instead of writing case notes am going to rant on to cyberspace about the injustice I felt a few weeks ago.
I would say since moving to the country (population 17,000) I have tried to "stay out the limelight." Now I'm not some self absorbed human being who believes that people care that much about my life that they care what I'm doing, but with my father being a doctor for some reason this has elevated me to a higher social status in the town. This is despite the fact I went to boarding school at 12-17 years of age, returned home for one year in 2005 and barely visited until this year when I made the big move (why on earth would I do this? more on that later, I can't tell all my good stories in one go).
Ok so essentially I live in a town where most people know of me, I would say approximately 20 people actually know me somewhat. Now if you knew me well, you would know that my 'inner helper' seems to come out at its worst when I am drinking. Every time I seem to get on the booze, I tend to make friends with people who are often a bit different. And I say this in the best way possible, they are people who might be in a minority who I really want to help, but most of the time, have no idea how to do so, so when I'm drunk I decide this is the night to do it. I will post some pics of my past new friends I have met, they are all wonderful and if I do hope to see them all again.
Ok so Im getting off topic, I tend to ramble, please dont lose interest I am getting to the point.
So not knowing alot of people in my town, I attended a function for 'young professionals' at the local pub. There was free wine there. Now one thing you must learn quickly about me is that: me + free wine = disaster. So I will cut to the chase and say I was well wasted and headed off to another local pub (with the mayor, one of my other new best friends). On entering I saw a well known man who suffers from an intellectual disability. I had never actually spoken to him but yes decided tonight was the night. I sat down and began chatting to him, he showed me some laminated cards he planned to give to women, describing himself and what he was looking for in a relationship, because he was too shy to speak to women. This broke my heart in half and from that moment I adopted this man to be my friend. We talked, drank and danced. This is where the trouble began. At the end of the night I walked him to his house to make sure he was ok (again the helper complex), caught a taxi and went home. End of story. What a lovely person I am, blah blah. Right? No. Not right at all.
Keep in mind that I have one good friend in this town, I spend my weekends watching movies and drinking red wine with my 15 year old brother. So approximately a week later I get a call from my one friend asking me if I had been "making out with (I will call him Bob), on the dance floor." To which I was shocked, took a trip back through memory lane and firmly stated that no this was not the case. He told me it had been told to him by 6 people and was circulating the rumour mill. I get to work at the school the next day and the chef (who is relatively new to town) asks me if I "slept with Bob" as people saw me go home with him. My first question was, why were people late on a Friday night going outside and watching me walk home.... I'm still to figure out the answer to that question. My second was like, come on dude, really? do you actually think I would do that?? well apparently people do think I would do that.... fair enough!
Now this is the point where you say, "well what do you care about what these people think about you", to which I respond, I don't, but I like my job and plan to keep it. I know the importance of a good reputation in healthcare, and this 'harmless gossip' could have had some influence on my career. Yes I know you think its ridiculous, but here in this town, if you are some kind of health professional, it seems people think you don't have a social life, you sit at home and read books (well I do that sometimes). I myself felt sorry for myself and considered posting a video like the one seen on 'Easy A' as I had no way of defending myself, but decided over time to let it go.
Moral of my story - people love gossip. They also enjoy seeing the downfall of people. To see me fall on my face and make a fool of myself brings glee to certain individuals and whilst this is fine, mental health services in my town are scarce. I spend my days and nights stressing about how to help people in this town and to have this form of 'bad press' well to tell you the truth pisses me right off.
Alas, as I tend to do in life, when I fail at things or have a bad experience, I try and learn from this. Is it fair I cant go to the pub and let my hair down in fear of people judging me (and yes, people have reported they would not want me as a counsellor when they have seen me running on three drinks so lets just imagine if they see me sloshed!)?? Is it fair that when I'm trying to do a good job for the community it is thrown back in my face? I don't think so... but what I've learnt is to keep my personal life personal when it comes to work. For the love of god, this blog is probably going to make things worse, but its about time we stopped judging peoples ability to perform a job based on negative judgements. Alcohol is a wonderous thing (is that a word), how do you think surgeons relax on a Friday night after a week of brain surgery? Does this mean they are a bad surgeon..... does going out on Friday night to a party and having a few too many drinks make you a bad sales person, electrician, barmaid, receptionist, etc??? Well I would say the answer would be no, so lets try to cut the people in the health profession a bit of slack, they work hard to help you, at the very least remember, these people could be the ones saving your life, best to get them on their good side....
Most ironic thing of this whole story, I actually did do something which would be rumour worthy in the middle of the pub, did anyone see that? Apparently not.... their bad!!
Till next time.......
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